Thursday, June 9, 2011

A Cute Canine Business Opportunity

My fiancé and I were walking Rosie, the World’s Cutest Dog, the other day. I am quite certain at least some of you will take issue with me unilaterally bestowing that title on Rosie. Some of you might even be under the misapprehension that the World’s Cutest Dog resides at your house. There surely are a number of dogs owned by readers that are mighty cute. I have two grand-dogs, Zelda and Ernie, who live with my daughters and fall into that category. But both daughters would admit if pressed that Rosie has that cute thing going on in a major way. They want to stay in the will, for one thing.

An unfortunate encounter with an overzealous dog groomer temporarily took away much of Rosie’s cuteness, but after more than two months her fur is growing back as curly and goofy as ever. When in full cuteness mode, Rosie looks like a 10-pound version of Chewbacca, from “Star Wars.” She loves all humans, indeed all animals that don’t make too much noise. Yapping dogs make this puppy that never peeps nervous, but otherwise she loves all creatures great and small. Once my Beautiful Mystery Companion sent cell phone photos of Rosie wrestling playfully on the walking trail with a large tabby cat, who came up to say hello — perhaps sensing a kindred spirit. My BMC finally had to drag Rosie away as the tabby looked on mournfully.

When we walk, Rosie turns heads virtually without exception. She is always smiling, prances on her feet and makes passersby smile and invariably ask what breed. She’s a rescue mutt, a little of this and that. More than once someone has said, “If you don’t want her, I’ll sure take her.” This is an exceedingly strange comment probably meant as a compliment, but weird nonetheless. Why would we not want this adorable dog? Do we look unhappy that we’re out here on a breezy spring day enjoying God’s handiwork while walking the dog?

I often wonder what would happen if we said, “Yes, take her. We’re tired of being licked to death. Best of luck.” Not that we would dream of doing such a thing, but it’s interesting to imagine.

If Rosie could be cloned, and if such procedures didn’t make me exceedingly nervous, I have an excellent revenue-producing idea. We could rent the cloned Rosie (the original is too close to our hearts for crass commercialism) to single men and women looking for a way to break the ice with attractive members of the opposite sex walking on the trail. She is a proven walk-stopper. If a single attractive guy walked down the trail with this pooch, I guarantee women would constantly be stopping him to pet Rosie the Clone, ooh and aah. The rest, as the say, would be up to the couple in question, in terms of exchanging emails or phone numbers. Rosie, as they say, is a surefire chick magnet.

This would work well for women, though long experience indicates that men need the most help. The advantages are considerable. This beats meeting women in bars, which I never figured had a lot of future. We would keep rates low enough to compete with eHarmony or Pet patrons would have the opportunity to see their potential match in person and not be at the mercy of an online posting of a photo taken 10 years and 50 pounds ago. Besides, someone that one meets on a walking trail clearly is interested in good health and fitness, which is a good trait.

Single fathers out with their babies or toddlers have long realized that a cute baby is a definite draw for women, who will come up and talk funny to the tyke. Renting out a baby, however, as a dating tool seems fraught with all sorts of legal and moral problems not faced with a mere dog.

I see definite franchising possibilities here, especially in neighborhoods with large numbers of single people who enjoy physical exercise. Hey, weirder business notions have worked.


  1. I get that same comment "if you don't want him, I will take him" about my six month old grandson.

    Seriously?? Where are these same people when he is throwing a temper tantrum, his teething is causing crying and screaming or middle of the night insomnia?? Not that I would really give him away...... ;)

  2. People say the darndest things, don't they?
    Take care, gb.

  3. Yay, Zelda gets a shout-out! She's cute as can be, but I'd trade her in a hot minute for Rosie.

    (just kidding, Zelda! I know you can't read, but I still feel guilty.)

  4. How do you know she can't read? Have you tried?